Ex-banker Gifts

Ex-Banker: Can you spare the price of a cup of tea? Anything else is a bonus.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"I don't like the look of this."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

Offshore tax havens.

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Another Rogue Trader

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

loan

Do not feed the clerks.