Ex-student Gifts

"The sad part is, if one of them becomes a big success, he'll say he was self taught."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

"People Change"

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

Generation Ex.

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'

Revenge Graffiti.

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

'Oh - It's you.'