Evil Enthusiast Pillows

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Chiller Theatre

Dead Funny

Scarpia from Tosca

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Solar Frankenstein

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"How was prom?"

The life of penguins.

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

More Pardons

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

Back to school: The Horror,

Stephen King

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."