Deathly Enthusiast Pillows

The Last Powerpoint

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'We've re-branded.'

The Reaper's Arms

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"From this you make a living?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"You lack spontaniety."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

The End is Nigh

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"I dropped my goblet!"

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

Ostrich Bar

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'