Death Enthusiast Pillows

'Oh...him...obituary columns as usual.'

'I had a vision of my own death. I really go out in style.'

National Association of Funeral Directors.

"Oh, come on. How can you be surprised to see me?"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Chiller Theatre

Dead Funny

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"How was prom?"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

The life of penguins.

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

The End is Nigh

Stephen King

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

Back to school: The Horror,

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

Young Stephen King

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

Happy New Ear!

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

The Horror Film Director.

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!