Evil Mastermind Enthusiast Pillows

"To save time, Dr. Nuclear, we ask that you stop following every correct answer with a bout of maniacal laughter."

"I'm afraid 'MWEEHEEHEE' lacks the necessary gravitas."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

Fort

Book sections, 'crime' and 'master crime'.

'I told you not to do that. Now put it back.'

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

"How about this? The story of a little reindeer whose exclusion from reindeer games led to the study of math and science, enabling him to develop levitation tech and thus eliminate the need for flying reindeers, thereby consigning his early tormentors to

Of the seven, which dwarf do you identify with?

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

All quiet in MoneyLaunderingCo whilst the men dispute the ironing roster.

"I have mess recognition. I show my messy room and my phone knows it has to be me."

'I got to get home quick to hack the principal's email to my dad.'

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

'Looked fine with one head. Besides, two heads are better than one is such a cliche.'

'We lucked out and drew a liberal judge -- I'll see if you can write a term paper for extra credit.'

"Finish your homework first, then you can hack into Trump's tax returns."

'I made it to the top the old-fashioned way. I recorded my ex-husband's inappropriate remarks, then blackmailed him.'

"Idiot! Who leaves a tip?!"

"Now the tricky part: getting the original out of the frame and getting mine into it."

'...and if you want to get even with the place down the road, some tomato seeds with cactus genes could be blown onto their fields.'

"Actually, I'v done some of my most devious thinking in the old time-out chair."

"Well there goes the last of the NEW YEARS resolutions."

...tell your parents you've retained the services of Waldo L. Cread, attorney at law.