Evil Mastermind Enthusiast Gifts

'You don't seem to put as much effort into your secret headquarters as you used to, sir.'

"To save time, Dr. Nuclear, we ask that you stop following every correct answer with a bout of maniacal laughter."

"I'm afraid 'MWEEHEEHEE' lacks the necessary gravitas."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

Eager to pull a prank on his chiropractor, Dennis taped a bag of potato chips to the small of his back.

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"I want you to leave here today with a message of joy!..."

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

Fort

Book sections, 'crime' and 'master crime'.

'I told you not to do that. Now put it back.'

"How about this? The story of a little reindeer whose exclusion from reindeer games led to the study of math and science, enabling him to develop levitation tech and thus eliminate the need for flying reindeers, thereby consigning his early tormentors to

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

Of the seven, which dwarf do you identify with?

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

All quiet in MoneyLaunderingCo whilst the men dispute the ironing roster.

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

'I got to get home quick to hack the principal's email to my dad.'

"I have mess recognition. I show my messy room and my phone knows it has to be me."

'Looked fine with one head. Besides, two heads are better than one is such a cliche.'

'We lucked out and drew a liberal judge -- I'll see if you can write a term paper for extra credit.'

"Finish your homework first, then you can hack into Trump's tax returns."

'I made it to the top the old-fashioned way. I recorded my ex-husband's inappropriate remarks, then blackmailed him.'

"Now the tricky part: getting the original out of the frame and getting mine into it."

I've had four espresso shots and a red bull. Look out post office, here comes Sadie! Post office? You're fueling up so you have the strength to endure the long lines? Ha. I'm creating the lines. I get to the counter with a stack of complicated questions, then watch the people behind me go nuts with frustration! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!! One of the best maniacal laughs in the business.

How Deterrence Works

"Idiot! Who leaves a tip?!"

'...and if you want to get even with the place down the road, some tomato seeds with cactus genes could be blown onto their fields.'