Evil Mastermind Gifts

Small child building a large contraption from junk

Computer operator welding machine.

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

'I think I found the problem.'

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

The inventions of baseball

Robot Truck.

Book sections, 'crime' and 'master crime'.

Fort

'I told you not to do that. Now put it back.'

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

Playing with the world.

Of the seven, which dwarf do you identify with?

"How about this? The story of a little reindeer whose exclusion from reindeer games led to the study of math and science, enabling him to develop levitation tech and thus eliminate the need for flying reindeers, thereby consigning his early tormentors to

"To save time, Dr. Nuclear, we ask that you stop following every correct answer with a bout of maniacal laughter."

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

"Well this part of your order has arrived, but the other parts haven't, though I understand they're in transit. So I guess parts of your parts order are partly here."

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"I have mess recognition. I show my messy room and my phone knows it has to be me."

'I got to get home quick to hack the principal's email to my dad.'

'Looked fine with one head. Besides, two heads are better than one is such a cliche.'

"Finish your homework first, then you can hack into Trump's tax returns."

'We lucked out and drew a liberal judge -- I'll see if you can write a term paper for extra credit.'

"It reminds me of the time I hired a 17-year-old nerd to track down a spammer’s true IP address, name, birthdate, and bank account number… …and shipped the spammer two tons of manure purchased with his entire life savings. Excellent question. I get letters like this all the time ever since I publicly announced my email address. It cost me a vinyl record, a mountain dew and a crate of cheetos, but was worth it."