Crime Mastermind Gifts

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

The inventions of baseball

Book sections, 'crime' and 'master crime'.

'I told you not to do that. Now put it back.'

"How about this? The story of a little reindeer whose exclusion from reindeer games led to the study of math and science, enabling him to develop levitation tech and thus eliminate the need for flying reindeers, thereby consigning his early tormentors to

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

"I'll say one thing - you're full of surprises."

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

All quiet in MoneyLaunderingCo whilst the men dispute the ironing roster.

'I got to get home quick to hack the principal's email to my dad.'

"Finish your homework first, then you can hack into Trump's tax returns."

'We lucked out and drew a liberal judge -- I'll see if you can write a term paper for extra credit.'

"Now the tricky part: getting the original out of the frame and getting mine into it."

"Criminal masterminds have to do better at maths, Abercrombie."

Inventors Club.

"It reminds me of the time I hired a 17-year-old nerd to track down a spammer’s true IP address, name, birthdate, and bank account number… …and shipped the spammer two tons of manure purchased with his entire life savings. Excellent question. I get letters like this all the time ever since I publicly announced my email address. It cost me a vinyl record, a mountain dew and a crate of cheetos, but was worth it."

"Idiot! Who leaves a tip?!"

'...and if you want to get even with the place down the road, some tomato seeds with cactus genes could be blown onto their fields.'