Eviction Gifts

Tenants and Landlords - 'Ah, he's given me notice, but I'm taking his wall-paper with me! ...'

'I'm sorry but I need your bed. I've just been kicked out my flat.'

The fate of the emigrant

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Fishbowl rebellion.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

Trust

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

New Swiss Army Knife

"Lives in the basement and has yet to bring home a dime."

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."