Evacuation Assistance Gifts

Afghanistan evacuation

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

A vampire in a canoe.

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'I'm on my way!'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Frontline health workers

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

'I'd say you're a little late...'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

Decontamination

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

'Is it urgent?'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

"I'm a busy man Jenkins. This better be important!"

Grim reaper ambulance

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Helicopter

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Paramedics.

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'