Dual Eviction Aficionados Gifts

"Both of us! When did you start dual evictions?"

"Skate or die."

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"I had a lovely evening talking trash with you."

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

"Your sweaters go in the drawer, your shoes go on the shelf, and you go in this nifty cubby here."

"Pistols at dawn?"

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

Sailors Scrubbing the Decks

"Ok, you wash, you dry...."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

"Try taking up something you can do together… like fencing."

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

"They're not identical twins—they're surgical twins."

'If at first you don't succeed, dry, dry again.'

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

'At last, an ethics committee that will listen to reason!'

"I wish you'd be more supportive of my efforts to divorce you."

"No dear,I'm not treading mud over your nice,clean kitchen floor..."

'Howitzers at dawn.'

The comfortable silence left the room the moment Mr. Giggles walked through the door.

Nature also abhors a vacuum salesman.

'Nature's not the only one to abhor a vacuum. I do too.'

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'