Cleaning Aficionados Gifts

'First I put some odds and ends in storage, then some furniture, and finally, Edgar.'

"No dear,I'm not treading mud over your nice,clean kitchen floor..."

'Do you have to bash the furniture with that thing?'

"Ok, you wash, you dry...."

'Nature's not the only one to abhor a vacuum. I do too.'

Nature also abhors a vacuum salesman.

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

Sailors Scrubbing the Decks

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Sweep the board.

Dogs shaving

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

'But you said to clean my room.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Dust Bunny

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

Spring Cleaning

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said to clean your room.'

Cleaning up space junk.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"Hello job security."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'