Ethical Wardrobe Warrior Gifts

"Don't worry. It's lemming fur."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

"Is there a seamstress present?"

'Why can I never find my camouflage trousers?'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

'It's about time you got jets installed!'

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

"Oh get over it. It's crocodile. We're alligators."

(NO) Shirts With Writing On Them

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

"We located our factory in your country because there is no word for leisure in your language."

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'Personally I wouldn't be seen dead in it.'

"Is that my skirt?!!"

"It isn't management's policy to allow the workers' to buy the leisure wear they manufacture at a discounted price - on the grounds that they don't have any leisure in which to wear it."

"We must root out corruption at the highest levels of government and make it look like it's happening at the lowest levels of government."

'The sequel to The Emperor Wore No Clothes.'

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

Jeans Styles

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."

"Since I'm not poor like you, I can afford to have scruples. . . I would never buy cheap clothes made with child labour."

The Moth Menace.

Animal Hats

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?