Eternal Punster Gifts

Golf in Hell: 'Golf is the one thing we can't make worse than what it already is.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

I think you're ace

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Veloci-Rapper

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

"Damn autocorrect!"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

The Flirtateous Period

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Grok's Black Hole Theory

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

Urp! Homo Eructus.

"He's got to have his morning coffee. We call him Java Man."

"Go ahead and touch my light. It's made of boyfriend material."