Eternal Punster T-Shirts

Golf in Hell: 'Golf is the one thing we can't make worse than what it already is.'

I think you're ace

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Veloci-Rapper

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

"Damn autocorrect!"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

"For all we know, a giant meteor could fall out of the sky and eradicate us all. So what do you say we make a little prehistory together?"

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

The Flirtateous Period

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Grok's Black Hole Theory

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Go ahead and touch my light. It's made of boyfriend material."

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

"He's got to have his morning coffee. We call him Java Man."