Eternal Hagglers Gifts

"More proof there's an afterlife."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"How much if I pedal?"

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

"Apart from the NDA, we have another option before signing a contract."

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

"Emotionally he's a child and physically he's a child."

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

"Again! Again!"

"But I might be interested. How much are you asking?"

'The child's seat is worth more than the car.'

'Are you sure you want to bargain with him?'

Donald Came Out Of The Recovery Room This Morning But Had To Go Back After Seeing The Bill.

'Well, I guess it's not worth waiting for the bus any longer...'

'They're renegotiating their contracts with the team owner during half time.'

'It even has tiny for sale signs on the windows.'

OK, OK, you can have it for a nickel, but I won't go a cent lower. Maybe.

The Sick Man of Europe

I lie to my dentist about how often I floss. I also lie about what parts of my body I floss.

No Reasonable Offer Refused

"Dad, for Father's Day, I'm giving you $100."

"Look what I just bought! The price tag said 25 bucks but I got it for 30!"

"Going out for a smoke... you?"

"At this point, I'm just complaining on fumes."