Eternal Ballers Gifts

Football Angel

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

Mummy reading a book in his sarcophagus.

"I was admitted to heaven, but they didn't have WIFI."

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

"Nope. No mistake. You’ve been booked... forever."

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

Clancy: Footloose and Fiancee-Free

'Wait ... Nobody brought a ball? Now what are we going to do for all eternity?'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

'Me retire? Never!!!'

'It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is he died laughing before her could tell anybody.'

"The worst thing about getting shorter is you can't get those rebounds any more."

"I’ve finally caught up on all the reels you’ve sent me."

'Today is the first day of the rest of your life.'

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

'I'll never get out of the third grade -- They keep raising the retirement age.'

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

I, Maryanne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do I watch.

"More proof there's an afterlife."

"Again! Again!"

Upside-Down Birthday 91-16.

"So, what are we doing this summer? We need to do something where in 50 years time, we look back and say, 'We did some crazy stuff that summer!"

Heavenly basketball player

"Randy, you're older than I am. Have you thought of maybe settling down and having kids?"

"Joan has a 'young voice' for her age!"

They called him the Olympic Flame because he never went out.

A bore of batchelors

"This really is heaven - unlimited free calling minutes."

"Uh-oh."

"Your room has been comped."

'Um... no. I don't think so.'

Boys will be boys and so will a lot of middle-aged men - Kim Hubbardf