Eternal Bachelors Gifts

'It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is he died laughing before her could tell anybody.'

A bore of batchelors

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

This is forever... till death do us part...

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

Pensioner's Romance

ONE IN A MILLION

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

I know it was the biggest moment in your life, but honey - our wedding was six months ago.

"No one rides off into me anymore."

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"They grow up so slow."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

'A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, Wally.' 'It's a good thing, I'm a know-it-all!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Internal Clocks.

"You've spent the last 20 years in college. what made you stop hiding from the real world?"

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'