Eternal Singles Gifts

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

"Frankly, I'm surprised that at your age you would even consider putting your tongue on a frozen metal pole!"

Still looking for your inner-grown-up, Harold?

ONE IN A MILLION

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"What do you want to be when your dad grows up?"

"He refuses to grow up."

I know it was the biggest moment in your life, but honey - our wedding was six months ago.

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

"No one rides off into me anymore."

'A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, Wally.' 'It's a good thing, I'm a know-it-all!'

Internal Clocks.

Football Angel

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

"I really should have paid attention to everything I learned in Kindergarten."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Bachelor Cake

'I'm going to learn it right this time.'