Eternal Singleton Gifts

Bachelor Cake

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

Pensioner's Romance

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

ONE IN A MILLION

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

I know it was the biggest moment in your life, but honey - our wedding was six months ago.

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

"No one rides off into me anymore."

'A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, Wally.' 'It's a good thing, I'm a know-it-all!'

Internal Clocks.

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"You've spent the last 20 years in college. what made you stop hiding from the real world?"

"Get with the program, Barry, the certificate clearly said, 'till death do we part'."

"Lucky!"

"I really should have paid attention to everything I learned in Kindergarten."

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

Boyfriend Shirt.

'I'm going to learn it right this time.'