Essay Eraser Gifts

Bored woman writing immensely long essay.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

'He was a great writer'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Editor.

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

Men can show their emotions!

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

In and Out Box

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

Fyodor Sologub

'In the first place, my domestic science teacher wanted to show me how to cook but now, she wants me to write an essay about the difference between onions and bulbs!'

Jonathan Swift.

Thomas Carlyle

Walt Whitman sounds his barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

'I don't know why she says I didn't spend enough time looking for an interesting topic. Aardvarks are interesting.'

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

Slam Dunking the Outtray

'Yes, Frank. I'm sure you can make two hundred words out of just twenty six letters.'

"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean bout cats."

"I translate books from English into better English."

Max Beerbohm

Jonathan Swift

"Was delegation the only thing you learnt on that management course?"

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

Economic Errata

Albert Camus.

Ralph Waldo Emerson