Regret Eraser Gifts

'Lately, I have made so many mistakes that I think my life needs a big control-z.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

Bored woman writing immensely long essay.

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

"If I remember correctly, you were the only one the dating agency had left over."

"I remember it well, me in wig and gown, gazing down at you, a picture of innocence, standing in the dock."

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

My first Boyfriend.

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

Economic Errata

"Remember the great cranberry scare of '59? And the cellular phone hysteria of '93? Ralph Nader's killer hot dog with the nitrates? Our evacuation at Love Canal? Remember the toxic-teeth scare, with the amalgam fillings leeching mercury into our gullets?..."

"Honey! Remember when we first met and you used to nibble my ear?"

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

"No, I don't remember our wedding vows. Who remembers an argument 20 years ago?"

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"

Waking up with a terrible hangover, Joe took a minute to remember what he'd done last night...he spent the rest of his life trying to forget.

"This is as romantic as when we were young and newly married, don't you think?"

'This is the same table we had when I proposed years ago. See? It still has my fingernail marks.'

'We all do a lot of stupid things when we're young. So, what'll take to remove that 'Butterball' tattoo?'

"Could you run those numbers by me again? I was thinking of an old love."

"Listen - he's playing our tune."