Regret Avoider Gifts

Gold, Silver and Bronze for pessimists.

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

Waking up with a terrible hangover, Joe took a minute to remember what he'd done last night...he spent the rest of his life trying to forget.

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"It's someone from your past who gave birth to you, and raised you, and sacrificed everything so you could have whatever you wanted."

"I don't like all the responsibility that comes with my new pompousness."

Man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Did You Forget Mother's Day?

It's not that Ned is superstitious...but rather, he doesn't take unnecessary risks!

'Keep the windows closed. We don't like to encourage office romances.'

The Ostrich Syndrome: 'Who gets the check?'

Hiding from unwanted visitors.

'Remember...first one to drop takes the rap.'

Institute for Advanced Hindsight - Research into what should have been.

BOOKS: Stuff you really don't want to know.

'There's no workplace romance here. This is a mom and pop store.'