Apology Avoider Gifts

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

I'm Sorry. . . Not.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

Sorry

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

Very sorry

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'A sincere apology costs nothing and it's a smart career move.'

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

"For the hundredth time, I'm sorry. It was dark, I was working fast..."

"I don't like all the responsibility that comes with my new pompousness."

'Love means never having to issue an official apology.'

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."