Apology Evader Gifts

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

Binge Watch

Sorry

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

Remorse code

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'A Mr Ritzwell to see you, sir. Are you in, or are you using the escape tunnel?'

Time-Off Coupons

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

"He's not good with change!"

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"I got an extension.'

"It's just a lamp. There's no need to hand in your resignation."

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

"Yeah, no - I didn't mean to scare you."

"I wouldn't say these are conflict-free diamonds. Henry bought them after we had a terrible row."

Or, maybe Clem should just accept Bodeen's apology.

His Master's Noise.

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

'How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?'

John D Doe. The following people still owe me an apology.

"I brought you these cruddy flowers because I'm basically a jerk who means well."

"No thanks, just browsing."