Apology Seeker Gifts

John D Doe. The following people still owe me an apology.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Sorry

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"OK, what have you done?"

Hyacinths

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

Very sorry

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Remorse code

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Are you nuts?! If someone locked me in a shed, I'd be furious and want to get revenge!!... Then again, getting angry doesn't make things any better...'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'So you're saying that if I truly repent all my sins will be deleted?'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'