Apology Enthusiasts Gifts

"It's just a lamp. There's no need to hand in your resignation."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Sorry

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

Hyacinths

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"My dad ate my homework."

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

Very sorry

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

Greeting Cards

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

Remorse code