Apology Aficionados Gifts

Sorry is the hardest word.

'A sincere apology costs nothing and it's a smart career move.'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Will eat your homework for $.

Tongue in the ear...

Sorry

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Hyacinths

Adult Absence Notes.

"OK, what have you done?"

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"Sorry I'm late. I took the stairs."

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Greeting Cards

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"My dad ate my homework."

Remorse code

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

"I put catnip on my homework. I think he'll eat it!"

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.