Apology Aficionados T-Shirts

Sorry is the hardest word.

'A sincere apology costs nothing and it's a smart career move.'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Tongue in the ear...

Sorry

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

"OK, what have you done?"

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

Hyacinths

Adult Absence Notes.

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

Greeting Cards

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

"My dad ate my homework."

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

Remorse code

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

"We always see a spike after April 15th."