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"Sorry–I didn't realize you were another predator."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

bird interprets modern art

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

Will eat your homework for $.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Sorry

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Prisoner still life painting.

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"It's a great work!"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

'Picasso'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

Cover story: Picasso

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Way too much anthropomorphising

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'