Apology Critic Gifts

"I'm sorry, but someone has to put a stop to this endless cycle of apologizing."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Sorry

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

Hyacinths

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

Very sorry

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'I'm not sure what you did wrong but it must have been a doozy!'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!