Apology Analyst Gifts

The ocean is an unforgiving place.

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

Sorry

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

Very sorry

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'I'm not sure what you did wrong but it must have been a doozy!'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!