Apology Skeptics Gifts

'Love means never having to issue an official apology.'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Tunnel of Love.

Remorse code

"Well, yes. It was love at first sight. But only because I was drunk at the time."

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

"Hon, this is Mr Atherton. He's going to show us how we can commercially exploit our marriage."

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.