Apology Seeker Pillows

John D Doe. The following people still owe me an apology.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Sorry

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Hyacinths

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

Very sorry

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Are you nuts?! If someone locked me in a shed, I'd be furious and want to get revenge!!... Then again, getting angry doesn't make things any better...'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'So you're saying that if I truly repent all my sins will be deleted?'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.