Apology Expert Pillows

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

SORRY. FULL HOUSE.: 'You don't look very damn sorry!'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"Once, in a moment of weakness, I started several other families."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"If I apologize again, will you take the arrow out of your hat?"

'Dear Santa, I can explain...'

Priest's 'To do' list.

Miracle on 34th street.

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'My dog ate my computer.'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Breakfast will be a little late. Our computer's down."

Very sorry

"I'm sorry I called you boring."