Apology Giver Pillows

"I brought you these cruddy flowers because I'm basically a jerk who means well."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

Very sorry

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

Remorse code

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

"I'm looking for an arrangement that says, 'Sorry about the sofa.'"

Fake it with Flowers.

"For the hundredth time, I'm sorry. It was dark, I was working fast..."

'Expensive wine, long-stem roses, imported candies...wasn't our argument about MY spending habits?'