Apology Gifter Pillows

"Something to make her forget that I forgot her birthday!"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Love.

Birthday Racing Car

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

Hyacinths

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"OK, what have you done?"

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

Santa's Out Tray.

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'