Apology Sender Pillows

I write I'm sorry but my pigeons keep coming back.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Sorry

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

Very sorry

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

Greeting Cards

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

Remorse code

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Feeling guilty? Florest

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'