Apology Sender Pillows

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Sorry

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Hyacinths

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

Very sorry

Greeting Cards

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

Feeling guilty? Florest

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'