Apology Analyzer Pillows

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Rudy has asked me to apologize, on his behalf, for your being offended that he may have said you're as old as the supercontinent "Pangea." What kind of weasely apology is that?! He didn

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Sorry

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

"OK, what have you done?"

Hyacinths

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Very sorry

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'I'm not sure what you did wrong but it must have been a doozy!'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

"When I called you an idiot I meant it in the nicest possible way."

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'