Excuse Analyzer Pillows

"What do you mean, 'you'll be working late'? You work nights!"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

My daddy ate my homework

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Hunting Skool. What about your project, Oogie? The dot ate my homework.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

A boy and his spin patrol.

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.