Apology Translator Pillows

"When I called you an idiot I meant it in the nicest possible way."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Sorry

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"OK, what have you done?"

Hyacinths

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

Very sorry

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Greeting Cards

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

Feeling guilty? Florest

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'I'm not sure what you did wrong but it must have been a doozy!'

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'