Apology Avoider Pillows

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

I'm Sorry. . . Not.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

Sorry

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

Very sorry

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'A sincere apology costs nothing and it's a smart career move.'

"I don't like all the responsibility that comes with my new pompousness."

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

'Love means never having to issue an official apology.'

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."