Apology Eaters Pillows

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Sorry

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

Very sorry

Greeting Cards

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"There were hooves in my lunch! I told you I don't like hooves."

Remorse code

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'If it's any consolation, I'm sorry I blew my top this morning.'

'A sincere apology costs nothing and it's a smart career move.'

Fake it with Flowers.

Rail service excuses: Points failure.

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

"For the hundredth time, I'm sorry. It was dark, I was working fast..."