App Eraser Gifts

"No . . . erasing food-search-apps from your browser history doesn't count as dieting."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

"This chasing stick app makes things so much easier."

Bored woman writing immensely long essay.

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

Slam Dunking the Outtray

"Amber alert... it's a new drinking app."

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"I replaced my G.P.S with auto correct, and every time I try to go right, it makes me go write...."

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Economic Errata

"Was delegation the only thing you learnt on that management course?"

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

"I must admit, I thought I had seen every type of 'attention grabbing' resume out there, but this..."

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

Computer Time Bomb.

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"All my devices are in there fighting over dominance again. I'm waiting out here until they're finished. It gets on my nerves."

"What was it like to wonder?"

"That may not be the best option for printing out your novel."

"I guess the rollout of my discovery, fire, could have gone better."

'My Android only records important calls.'

Betsy's not too happy with Ralph's new turbo milker.