Essay Eraser Mugs

Bored woman writing immensely long essay.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

'He was a great writer'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Editor.

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

Men can show their emotions!

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

In and Out Box

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

James Baldwin

George Santayana

'In the first place, my domestic science teacher wanted to show me how to cook but now, she wants me to write an essay about the difference between onions and bulbs!'

Fyodor Sologub

Jonathan Swift.

'I don't know why she says I didn't spend enough time looking for an interesting topic. Aardvarks are interesting.'

Walt Whitman sounds his barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

Thomas Carlyle

"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean bout cats."

'Yes, Frank. I'm sure you can make two hundred words out of just twenty six letters.'

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

J.B. Priestley.

Slam Dunking the Outtray

James Baldwin.

"I translate books from English into better English."

Max Beerbohm

Economic Errata

"Was delegation the only thing you learnt on that management course?"

Jonathan Swift

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Albert Camus.