Essay Examiner Gifts

"Oh, nothing - just grading papers."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Sigmund Freud.

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"Office of quality assurance"

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

Examiners.

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

Studying and technology

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Lambs to the Slaughter

Fyodor Sologub

"Smart Arse"

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

Man looking down long telescope at himself.

'Final exams are easier if you think of them as exit polls.'

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"The conclusion of my essay on the pros and cons of domestication is that we're missing out on a lot of stuff Dad..."

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

Citations Needed!

"You know how I feel about sampling!"

'He's just failed my husband. Bring the examiner out here immediately!'