Essay Enthusiast Gifts

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.

'Who wrote this Perkins? You or Google!'

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

Citations Needed!

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Student at bookstore advertising used books advertises used homework.

"On an essay on careers he wrote that he thought it would be exciting to sell insurance."

"Of course it's blank, my essay is about writer's block."

"I think I deserve a better grade than C. I searched 50 websites to download this term paper!"

"But why do you think I put my name on someone else's essay?"

"The conclusion of my essay on the pros and cons of domestication is that we're missing out on a lot of stuff Dad..."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'I told the class to write a one hundred word essay on what they did last weekend. Jennifer wrote 'not much' fifty times.'

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

Fyodor Sologub

'If she switches to essay tests none of us will ever be the same.'

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

We know being raised by wolves isn't ideal, but think of the amazing essay you'll have on your college application!

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Burning the midnight oil.

First Novels.

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Voltaire

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Scarcity

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."