Essay Enthusiasts Gifts

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Meet The Author"

Burning the midnight oil.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

The devil you know and his plus one

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Sue the Author 3PM

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Soldier armed with a pen.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

His Master's Thesis.

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.