Prose Enthusiasts Gifts

Nikolay Alexandrovich Dobrolyubov

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Don Quixote

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Stephen Spender.

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Oh, this old thing?"

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"